Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
