Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
