entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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