At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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