There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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