My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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