Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize