yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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