dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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