My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
