I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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