That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
