i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
