Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
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