So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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