Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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