the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
