so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
