I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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