You made me cry and you don't even care
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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