haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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