We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you had me at cake vodka
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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