some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
