I think I died a long time ago.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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