I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
