9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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