I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
