i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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