you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
