dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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