She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
