I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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