i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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