you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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