Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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