My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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