Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
