can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
