I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
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