Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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