Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
