tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
