he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
