Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
FUCK WHALES
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
