I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
