my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize