you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
