They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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