yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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