are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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