i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
