So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
