It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
