The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
