this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
the liver wants what the liver wants
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
