I'm lost and stupid without you.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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