Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
