Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Someone signed my nipple.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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