Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
