I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Operation Purity has been aborted
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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