i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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