Can i not drive my cunt home
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You can't special order awesome
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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