i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
