listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize