Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
