The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
