I got her a Nickelback box set.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I still have a little drunk in my system
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
